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February 12 Cardinal hits out at 'hedonists' in gay adoption rowSTEPHEN MCGINTY
CARDINAL Keith O'Brien said the government's decision to compel Catholic adoption agencies to place children with same-sex couples was evidence of a "deeply hedonistic society", where ancient morals were being replaced by "issues of life-style and choice". The Archbishop of St Andrews and Edinburgh, the leader of Scotland's 800,000 catholics, makes his first comment on the issue in today's Scotsman in which he calls on Gordon Brown, the Chancellor, and David Cameron, the leader of the Conservative Party, to support the Church's position. He writes: "Political leaders ... have praised Catholic agencies for their work abroad. We ask now that they allow us to carry on our equally valuable work at home." The cardinal's comments follow the government's decision not to allow the Church to opt-out of anti-discrimination laws, which it insists will force the two Catholic adoption agencies in Scotland to close rather than be compelled to place children with homosexual couples. Meanwhile, Tony Blair, the Prime Minister, yesterday suggested Catholic agencies could team up with non-faith-based organisations to comply with the anti-discrimination laws. The Prime Minister said he understood "totally" the Church's objections to gay couples adopting, but added: "We don't want a situation where we are discriminating against people on the grounds of their sexuality."http://thescotsman.scotsman.com/index.cfm?id=200412007
Colombia court backs rights for gay couplesRuling in case on inheritance buoys activistsBy Indira A.R. Lakshmanan, Globe Staff | February 9, 2007 BOGOTÁ, Colombia -- The Colombian Constitutional Court has ruled that same-sex couples are entitled to the same inheritance rights as Globe Headlines e-mail | Church leaders in Colombia said yesterday they had no objection to the ruling, which came late Wednesday, as long as it does not open the door for same-sex marriage or adoption. "This is a very important step, because it's the first time that any state entity is recognizing rights for same-sex couples here," said Virgilio Barco Isakson, president of the board of Colombia Diversa, a gay-rights group. Together with a public interest law group at the University of Los Andes, Colombia Diversa filed an antidiscrimination lawsuit last year against the restriction of common-law inheritance rights to heterosexual couples who had lived together for at least two years. As in Massachusetts, where same-sex marriage was approved by the state's high court rather than by the Legislature, the Colombian court ruling follows four failed attempts in Colombia's congress since 1999 to promote legislation guaranteeing economic and legal benefits to gay partners. A bill that would extend social security, health, and inheritance benefits to same-sex couples was approved by the Senate in October, and is currently before the lower house, which will debate the measure twice before voting in June. Gay-rights activists now have high hopes for the legislation, given the court's verdict that, at least in the context of inheritance rights, a "common law union" cannot be limited to a man and a woman. The bill's high-profile boosters, including President Álvaro Uribe, say they do not favor gay marriage or adoption, but that gays should be entitled to the same economic rights as heterosexuals. "The fact that the president supports it gave the bill a big boost; he has made the issue mainstream," said Barco, whose late father was president of Colombia in the late 1980s. In a sign of how widely accepted the notion of economic rights for gays may be here, the hierarchy of the Catholic Church has not condemned the ruling. In an interview yesterday, Monsignor Fabian Marulanda, secretary general of a Catholic bishops' conference of Colombia, said that giving gay couples inheritance rights "does nothing that conflicts with morality or ethics, it's just a legal matter. . . . Inheritance is a sacred right in the constitution for any citizen." Marulanda said, however, that the church could not abide the legalization of same-sex marriage or adoption. Discrimination and violence against lesbian, gay, and transgender people are serious problems throughout Latin America. But significant progress has been made in the past decade in promoting their legal rights, said Scott Long, director of the gay rights program at Human Rights Watch in New York. In 1998, Brazil's Superior Tribunal of Justice awarded a gay businessman half the estate of his deceased companion. Two years later, the Brazilian government granted same-sex couples the right to inherit each other's pension and social security benefits. But no constitutional court in Latin America had ever issued a ruling "so sweepingly affirming lesbian and gay couples' constitutional rights before this Colombian ruling," Long said. "It's a tribute to the Colombian court's progressive perspective." Mexico City, the northern Mexican state of Coahuila, and Buenos Aires now recognize gay civil unions, as do certain localities in Brazil. Ecuador has provisions in its 1998 constitution forbidding discrimination based on sexual orientation. Activists here hope Colombia's ruling will pave the way for other benefits enjoyed by heterosexual couples, such as the right not to testify against one's partner in a criminal case and protection from domestic violence. Paula Ettelbrick, executive director of the International Gay and Lesbian Human Rights Commission in New York, called the ruling "a stunning development. . . . This kind of step was the beginning of all sorts of recognition for gay couples in Europe and elsewhere." The verdict is the latest in a series of activist decisions by Colombia's constitutional court. Last year, the same court legalized abortion in certain cases and strengthened the rights of war victims under a law that granted favorable sentences to disarmed illegal militiamen. Eight of nine magistrates voted to extend inheritance rights; the ninth abstained, saying he favored extending more rights to gays. Marcela Sánchez, executive director of Colombia Diversa, called the ruling "a gain not only for the gay community, but for the whole country. It makes the country more inclusive, more democratic, more modern." Daniel Bonilla, a law professor at University of Los Andes who supervised the students who drafted the lawsuit, praised the court for its commitment "to the fundamental civil rights of Colombians, especially the most vulnerable groups: gays, women, victims of violence." Bill seeks end to counties' differences over gay adoption
CONCORD -- Gay couples across the state would gain the explicit right to adopt children together under a bill being proposed to end discrepancies in how each country handles such requests. The state's existing adoption law allows children to be adopted by married couples or single adults. Gay individuals can adopt children, but same-sex couples can adopt only in certain counties because probate judges interpret the law differently. Six counties -- Belknap, Carroll, Coos, Rockingham, Strafford and Sullivan -- have allowed same-sex couples to adopt. Probate judges in the other four -- Merrimack, Hillsborough, Cheshire and Grafton -- have not. Judges in those counties have said the language of the law does not apply to same-sex couples because they cannot legally marry in New Hampshire. In one Merrimack County case, two Concord women were denied in their attempt to both become the legal parents of their daughter. Betsy Peabody, who gave birth to the girl, wanted her partner of 14 years, Dianne Harhigh, to adopt their daughter, but Judge Richard Hampe said the best he could offer was dual guardianship. At the end of their case, both the women and Hampe agreed on one issue: The Legislature should clarify the law. Seeking to do just that, Rep. Frank Tupper, D-Canterbury, is co-sponsoring a bill that would allow unmarried couples to adopt a child if they live together and share financial obligations, such as rent or mortgage. "If two loving adults have proven they are in a committed fiscal relationship ... good Lord, give the child a two-parent home," said Tupper. Rep. Elizabeth Blanchard, D-Concord, co-sponsored the bill because she considered it a "no brainer." "If one person in the household can adopt a child, there is no reason they can't both adopt." Blanchard said the only criticism she has heard came by e-mail as a letter expressing support for "traditional" families of one mother and one father. Judge David King, administrative judge of the state's probate courts, said Hampe has read the proposal to ensure that it would sufficiently clarify the issue.
http://www.seacoastonline.com/news/02112007/nhnews-11sun-gayadoption.html February 08 Gay Teens sooner OUTUpdated 2/8/2007 7:32 AM ET
By Marilyn Elias, USA TODAY
Kate Haigh, 18, a high school senior in St. Paul, recalls attending her first meeting at the school's Gay-Straight Alliance club when she was in the ninth grade. "I said, 'My name is Kate, and I'm a lesbian.' It was so liberating. I felt like something huge had been lifted off my shoulders, and finally I had people to talk to."
Zach Lundin, 16, has brought boyfriends to several dances at his high school in suburban Seattle. Vance Smith wanted to start a club to support gay students at his rural Colorado school but says administrators balked. At age 15, Vance contacted a New York advocacy group that sent school officials a letter about students' legal rights. Now 17, Smith has his club. Gay teenagers are "coming out" earlier than ever, and many feel better about themselves than earlier generations of gays, youth leaders and researchers say. The change is happening in the wake of opinion polls that show growing acceptance of gays, more supportive adults and positive gay role models in popular media. "In my generation, you definitely didn't come out in high school. You had to move away from home to be gay," says Kevin Jennings, 43, executive director of the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network, a national group that promotes a positive school climate for gay children. "Now so many are out while they're still at home. They're more vocal than we were." Still, many continue to have a tough time. The worst off, experts say, are young people in conservative rural regions and children whose parents cannot abide having gay offspring. Taunting at school is still common. Cyber-bullying is "the new big thing," says Laura Sorensen of Affirmations Lesbian and Gay Community Center in Ferndale, Mich. "Kids are getting hate mail and taunts on MySpace or Facebook." But as young gays become more visible targets, they also have more sources of help, experts say. In the 11 years since Jennings founded the education network, parents have become more supportive of gay teens, he says. Also, the network has trained thousands of school officials on how to reduce gay bashing. Schools are more likely than in the past to have openly gay staff members who can help young people, says Anthony D'Augelli, an associate dean at Pennsylvania State University. In a recent national survey, one-third of school psychologists said they had counseled students or parents about sexual orientation. In the mid-1990s, a few dozen Gay-Straight Alliance clubs were in U.S. high schools; now 3,200 are registered with the education network, Jennings says. The Internet also has eased isolation for gay teens, offering a place for socializing and support, says Stephanie Sanders of the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction in Bloomington, Ind. Cultural diversity is prevalent Teens are coming out in an era when more Americans than ever consider homosexuality acceptable. In 2006, 54% found homosexuality acceptable, compared with 38% in 1992, Gallup polls show. Youths also swim in a cultural sea that's far more pro-gay than ever, says Ritch Savin-Williams, a psychologist at Cornell University and author of The New Gay Teenager. From MTV's The Real World to Will & Grace and Ellen DeGeneres hosting the Oscars, "kids can see gays in a positive light," he says. The news in December that Vice President Cheney's daughter Mary is expecting a baby with her female partner has even brought gay parenthood into the Bush administration family. By the time parenthood becomes an option, many homosexuals have known their preferences for a long time. Gay males and lesbians often feel "different" as early as grade school, Sanders says. Vance Smith, who grew up amid cornfields in LaSalle, Colo., recalls being made fun of and called "gay" as early as first grade. "I didn't even know what it was," he says. "I didn't know why I didn't like 'guy-type' stuff like sports or why I was always more comfortable hanging out with girls. And I didn't know why I should be punished for it." By middle school, "I always had a girlfriend, hoping people wouldn't know." But he couldn't make himself feel heterosexual, Smith says. And nobody was fooled, anyway. Zach Lundin had been taught in church that homosexuality was wrong. "I spent a lot of time trying to convince myself I was straight," says Lundin, 17, of Kenmore, Wash. At age 14 he told his parents he was attracted to boys. "I said, 'I'm not going to lie to you anymore. This is what I'm really feeling.' " His father, Roy Lundin, wasn't thrilled to hear the news. "Any parent who says his first reaction isn't 'Oh, no!' probably isn't telling the truth," he says. "We felt some sadness. We just assumed we'd have a daughter-in-law someday and grandchildren. It becomes your disappointment, but it's a selfish disappointment. Now we've gotten past that. "There are some parts of it that I'll never be comfortable with," he concedes, "but that doesn't mean I can't support Zach. I love him and I will support him." A struggle for the parents How parents deal with such news has a huge effect on their kids' lives, says Caitlin Ryan, a social-work researcher at San Francisco State University who is studying the families of gay young people. Families can move gradually from rejection to warm acceptance once the shock wears off, she says. Parents with strong convictions that homosexuality is always wrong find it hardest to accept their gay teens, she says. At its most extreme, that means throwing a child out. Nobody knows exactly how many gay teens meet that fate, but a disproportionate share of homeless young people in the USA are homosexuals, a new report from the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force says. Family conflict, including conflict over sexual orientation, is a key reason they're homeless, the report says. Several cities have shelters for gay kids, but there's less help than needed, says Carl Siciliano of the Ali Forney Center, which offers limited housing for New York youths. Sorensen, who coordinates a drop-in program in suburban Detroit, sees teens from all kinds of families. "Kids from the suburbs drive up in new SUVs their parents bought them. But sometimes they're afraid to come out to parents because of talk against gays they've heard at home. Other kids have to scrounge together bus fare to get here. They all would like to tell their parents and be accepted, but not all of them can." Not everyone applauds the soaring number of school-based gay/straight alliances and adult-led programs for gay teens. "Homosexuality is harmful to society, and young people have no business committing to a sexual identity until they're adults," says Peter Sprigg of the Family Research Council, a conservative policy group. The council backs a new Georgia law, first in the nation, that requires schools to tell parents about clubs and allows them to forbid their children to participate in gay/straight alliances. Lobbying is underway to pass similar laws in North Carolina, Virginia, Tennessee, Alabama and Texas, says Joe Glover of the Family Policy Network, a Christian family advocacy group. "Parents shouldn't have to check their rights at the school room door," he says. Researchers traditionally have emphasized that gay teens have worse mental health and higher suicide rates than straight teens. But Cornell's Savin-Williams says these conclusions are primarily based on small, older studies skewed to troubled youths. A few newer studies suggest teens who are attracted to both sexes may have the worst problems. But most research has grouped them with homosexuals. Gay kids are more likely than straight teens to think about or try suicide, but there's no evidence they're more likely to kill themselves, says sociologist Stephen Russell of the University of Arizona. He has analyzed findings from a study of 12,000 teens followed up to a decade so far. Those with same-sex attractions are more depressed and anxious, Russell says, but there's also evidence that many who say they're attracted to others of their sex grow up to be heterosexual. He says stigma and prejudice still prompt undue stress for gay kids. Studies on gay boys predominate, so young lesbians are more of a mystery. Pioneering findings suggest lesbian teens may be different from gay boys in key ways. There's more variability in the age when they realize they're not straight, says Lisa Diamond, a University of Utah psychologist. Unlike boys, most girls also have opposite-sex attractions. And strong emotional bonds are more key in sparking girls' sexual attractions, Diamond says. She also has ventured into territory rarely trod in studies on gay youths: friendships and romances. "They're adolescents first, and adolescents are obsessed with their friendship networks," she says. Diamond has kids weigh in on the statement: "I sometimes worry that I'll never be able to find the kind of romantic partner I want." Gay teens worry about this more than straight teens because best friends are usually the same sex, she says. Gays are unique in agonizing over whether to turn friendships into romances, often fearing they'll lose a friend. Worry about finding a partner was strongly linked to anxiety and depression. When Diamond subtracted this worry, gay teens were no more anxious or depressed than straight teens. "We have to start looking at their whole lives, not just sexual orientation. By focusing on stigma, we may be missing the bigger picture: that they're painfully normal teenagers." D'Augelli, who studies homosexuality among the young, says many adults might be surprised at the secret that really lurks in the psyches of gay teens: "The remarkable fact is, most are quite conventional. They want long-term relationships. They want children."
Parents sued when Mass. teacher read ‘King and King’ at public schoolCourt weighs same-sex story read to kids
Reuters
Updated: 2:44 a.m. PT Feb 8, 2007 BOSTON - As gay rights supporters and foes gathered outside, a federal court on Wednesday took up the question of whether a Massachusetts town and its school district infringed on parents' rights when a teacher read young students a book with a gay theme. Two Lexington, Mass. families last year filed the suit asserting that the reading of the book "King & King" and the handing out to elementary school students of other children's books that discussed homosexuality without first notifying parents was a violation of their religious rights. "What they fear is their children are being brainwashed," Robert Sinsheimer, who represented the families, told the court in Boston. "It's a form of propaganda specifically intended to wipe out their way of life." The plaintiffs, David and Tonia Parker and Rob and Robin Wirthlin, who describe themselves as coming from the Judeo-Christian tradition, also charged in their suit that reading out the book to a class of largely 7-year-old students violated a 1996 state law requiring parents to be notified of sex-education lessons. The book "King & King" tells the story of a crown prince who rejects a string of princesses before falling in love with another prince. The two marry, sealing their union with a kiss. "Massachusetts, as well as its cities, towns and school districts, have a legitimate interest in teaching diversity and tolerance," said John Davis, who represented Lexington, a suburb about 12 miles west of Boston. School officials said the book was read to teach students about diversity. Massachusetts is the only U.S. state where gay marriage is legal, though the subject remains highly charged. Voters could overturn legalization A crowd of about two dozen protesters, representing each side of the issue, braved freezing conditions to picket outside the waterfront courthouse. "The schools are exposing youngsters to something that is the law of the community they life in. The parents seem to know about it and can teach the children that they believe it is wrong," said Judge Mark Wolf, who will decide whether to dismiss the suit. "Almost all moral education is indoctrination," Wolf said. "It's the reason we have public schools. We're preparing people for citizenship." He pointed out that the parents had the option of enrolling their children in private schools, or of lobbying the school board to have the curriculum changed. Sinsheimer, representing the parents, said that opposition to the teaching is a minority viewpoint in their town and that they would face an uphill battle in any lobbying effort. "There's always a problem with people in the majority deciding how much of a burden this is on the minority," Wolf said. Copyright 2007 Reuters Limited. All rights reserved. Republication or redistribution of Reuters content is expressly prohibited without the prior written consent of Reuters.(c) Reuters 2007. All rights reserved. Republication or redistribution of Reuters content, including by caching, framing or similar means, is expressly prohibited without the prior written consent of Reuters. Reuters and the Reuters sphere logo are registered trademarks and trademarks of the Reuters group of companies around the world.
January 29 Female couple fights to gain custody of Lufkin foster child
By JESSICA SAVAGE The Lufkin Daily News Saturday, January 27, 2007
More than a year after he was taken from his prescription drug-addicted mother three weeks after birth, a Lufkin baby boy is thriving in his aunts' home in New Mexico.
"He's really come a long way," said his aunt Tamara Garlington, who is a stay-at-home mother to five children, including three of her own.
Although the baby won't have any memory of it, he lived the first 11 months of his life in foster care before Tamara and Shawna Garlington were awarded custody of him and his big sister in an Angelina County courtroom.
According to a home study conducted by Child Protective Services, the Garlingtons had the perfect home environment to care for their niece and nephew. The children's state-appointed attorney, however, didn't believe the two mothers were appropriate parents.
The Garlingtons are a lesbian couple who, while not legally married, have been together for several years. In 2001 Tamara Garlington, older sister to the baby's mother, legally changed her last name and the names of her children to her partner's name.
"It became all about our lifestyle and not the kids," Shawna Garlington said. "I thought, 'They can't do that.' There are so many kids out there that don't have a home, and just because you are gay doesn't mean you can't give them a good home."
For the family, the memory and effects of a frustrating custody battle that began about a year ago are still there.
The baby boy, now just over a year old, is learning how to walk.
"Developmentally, he's three to four months behind," Tamara Garlington said. "You could tell he didn't have much interaction in foster care."
Fighting for Family in
the Face of Opposition
Not even a positive review from CPS following background checks and a home study could ease the process.
The court-ordered study found the Garlingtons financially stable and a couple who can meet the children's basic needs, said caseworker Lindsay Tomes.
Joe Martin, now a state prosecutor in Polk County, was appointed by the state to represent the interests of the children in the case while he was working as a defense attorney in Angelina County in 2006.
Attorneys are appointed to represent children's interests in most family law cases.
Martin said he disagreed with the Garlingtons' home study.
Calling it a "whitewash," he said the Garlingtons "had serious indications of instability due to previous relationships."
The couple has been together for more than eight years. Their oldest child is about 8.
Dawn Armstrong, a prosecuting attorney for the Angelina County District Attorney's Office and CPS, disagreed with Martin's reservations about the case.
"If you take it to heart, it would be the same thing as saying anyone who's ever been divorced is not a suitable caretaker for children, or single parents are not a suitable caretaker, and that's just not true," she said.
Martin said he is against homosexual couples rearing children.
"My job as the attorney ad litem was to present what I thought was best for the children, and I don't think it's best for any children to be placed in a homosexual family," he said. "Children are not laboratory experiments."
Martin said the best situation for the children — considering no other family members could care for them — was to place the siblings in foster care.
Children who are placed in foster care often bounce from home to home as families in the system become overwhelmed with caring for their children and foster children. Ultimately, the goal for CPS is place a child in a permanent home, said Shari Pulliam, public information officer for the Texas Department of Family and Protective Services.
Armstrong opposed Martin's statements.
"I think a close family relationship in a stable and loving home is always going to be superior to foster care," Armstrong said.
Gaining Custody
CPS' first step after a child has been removed from a home and placed into foster care is to contact immediate family, Pulliam said. A caseworker sits family members down and explains the situation, asking if anyone is interested in caring for the children.
"We put the power back in the family and want them to make the decisions (on what's best for the children)," Pulliam said.
The baby boy's mother had two other children, the oldest with his grandmother and a younger sister with the Garlingtons.
Already raising three boys together, the couple were the only other family members interested in caring for the two children.
During their CPS meeting, Tamara Garlington said she thought to herself, "I'm their aunt. I'm the one who can do this and the only one who will do this, and I'm going to do it."
A CPS caseworker visited the Garlingtons' home soon after, and documented their lifestyle on paper for an approaching custody hearing in July.
By law, sexual orientation is not a factor that plays into home study results or child placement, Pulliam said.
The agency gave the study an official stamp of approval, which typically is a green light for the family seeking custody, according to Pulliam. But not in the Garlingtons' case.
What CPS and the Garlingtons thought would be a quick process and transition for the children turned into a nightmare that dragged on until mid-December.
"It was kind of a cultural shock to see that people actually act that way," Shawna Garlington said. "I've come across some prejudiced people, but not like that."
During the course of the hearings, several faith-based communities voiced opposition to the Garlingtons' sexual orientation, Pulliam said. Meanwhile, the children remained in foster care for 11 months.
"The whole thing is kind of infuriating," Shawna Garlington said.
But she and her partner never lost hope.
"We talked about it a lot and decided to go all the way," Tamara Garlington said. "We had to for the kids, and for the other issue as well."
Caseworker Lindsay Tomes said she was impressed.
"This family proved their dedication. They went the distance for the children and wanted the children," she said.
On Dec. 18, Judge David Dunn, with the Southeast Texas Cluster Court, awarded the Garlingtons custody. Dunn is a judge based in Orange County who travels throughout Southeast Texas to hear child custody cases.
Five days before Christmas, Tomes flew the children out to New Mexico and personally placed the children with the Garlingtons.
"The kids are finally where they need to be," she said.
Raising four boys
and a girl
Tamara Garlington said her youngest son, 4, was so eager to see his cousins he offered to help change the baby's dirty diapers.
"He didn't know what he was signing up for," she said, laughing.
Since her niece and nephew arrived, the two have adjusted well.
The 8-year-old is settling in at school. She's made friends and recently signed up for cheerleading, Tamara Garlington said.
Six months ago, the baby's mother moved to Rio Rancho, N.M., for a new start. She has been off drugs and is holding a steady job, her sister said.
Rio Rancho is known to residents as the "City of Vision," a place where the Garlingtons say homosexual families are openly accepted. The city of about 60,000 people is a religious-based community where many alternative-lifestyle families reside and are accepted into local congregations, Tamara Garlington said.
The culture of Lufkin, located approximately 800 miles east, was a bit of a shock, she admitted.
"(Facing opposition) never crossed my mind," said the 35-year-old part-time college student, who is studying social work.
She said it has made her children more aware of objections to their parents' lifestyle.
"We have explained to them that all families are different, that some kids only have one mom, some only one dad, some only grandparents ... . There are a whole variety of families out there. Some people have two moms and some have two dads. And yes, there are people out there that do not think it's OK for someone to have two moms — two females together," she said.
Aside from what some view as an abnormal lifestyle, the Garlingtons are involved in every normality of their children's lives. From Chuck E. Cheese's visits to football and cheerleading practice, the couple has its hands full. While Shawna works during the day, Tamara shuffles the older kids off to school and then entertains the younger ones. Twice a week Tamara attends night classes at a local college and Shawna watches the children.
After a week filled with school, sports, sleepovers and play dates, the family of seven gathers for a meeting.
"We all sit around the table and everyone has their voice," Tamara Garlington said.
"If someone could just put a camera up for a day or a week, they would see our life is just like any other heterosexual couple."
Same-sex parenting redefines 'family' for someDorothy Korber McClatchy Newspapers
Giggly and charming, Maddy is the cherished princess of her Elk Grove, Calif., family: gay dads Ed Condon and Norman Lorenz, and her little brother, Tim. Maddy's adoption in 1995 was the first for a gay couple in Sacramento County, making her both a pioneer and a poster child for same-sex parenting. "Maddy makes up for the lack of females in this house," Lorenz says affectionately as his daughter dances off to change clothes - again. The news last month of the pregnancy of Mary Cheney, the vice president's lesbian daughter, focused attention on a national trend: the number of gay and lesbian parents is on the rise. Same success rate Sociologists tracking this say that children of those households tend to be as well-adjusted and successful as offspring from heterosexual households. By some measures, they are faring better. "It's pretty consistent - the overwhelming finding is that the children are fine," according to Judith Stacey, a sociology professor at New York University and a leading researcher in the area of gender and family. "And there are some findings of certain positive characteristics among them: self-esteem, popularity, warmer relationships with parents. "These advantages have to do with the obvious fact that these are very desired children. They are unbelievably wanted." That's clearly the case for Maddy and Tim. Life isn't always perfect for these families - kids and parents alike have faced hazing and condemnation by outsiders. But, within the family circle, there is abundant love and acceptance. Two dads For them, having two dads or two moms is perfectly normal. Even, as Maddy says, kind of a miracle. Condon and Lorenz - their kids call them Daddy Ed and Daddy Norman - have been a couple for 25 years. Condon is executive director of the California Head Start Association and Lorenz is a consultant with the state Department of Education. Previously, they owned several Montessori schools in the region. After a dozen years together, the men realized they wanted to be parents. In the course of their inquiries into adoption, a pregnant woman sought them out. She was Maddy's birth mother. "Out of the blue, she asked if we would like to adopt her child," Lorenz recalls. "We matched up with her in January of 1994. In March, Maddy was born." Maddy's two dads were in the delivery room. Condon took four months off from work to care for the newborn. Tim, who is 9, joined the family in 1998 when he was 18 months old. Perhaps Condon was anxious at first, but today both men are relaxed fathers. They say, and the children agree, that having gay parents has not proved to be a problem - or even an issue - for the kids. Initial confusion Maddy says people sometimes are a little confused, however. "Almost all my friends already know," she says. "They're, like, OK with it. But a lot of other people assume I have a mom. I just say: 'No, I have two dads.' " Her friends' mothers often treat her like another daughter. "It's sweet of them and good for Maddy," Condon says. "Raising a girl has been a different kind of journey for us. It's interesting - we've found that parents of boys are more guarded with us than parents of girls. It's a good thing we had our daughter first - we're more confident now. Maddy blazed the way." As for her own gender identity, Maddy has no doubts, according to Lorenz: "She's very clearly told us, 'I am straight.' Maddy loves boys." "I do," confirms Maddy, still nodding earnestly at her reflection in the window. "I love boys." December 12 Kate Bornstein - Transsexual writer!Hello Cruel World: 101 Alternatives to Suicide for Teens, Freaks and Other Outlaws (Paperback)
Editorial Reviews
Book Description Celebrated transsexual trailblazer Kate Bornstein has, with more humor and spunk than any other, ushered us into a world of limitless possibility through a daring re-envisionment of the gender system as we know it. Here, Kate bravely and wittily shares personal and unorthodox methods of survival for navigating an often cruel world. A one-of-a-kind guide to staying alive outside the box, Hello, Cruel World is a much-needed unconventional approach to teenage suicide prevention for marginalized youth who want to stay on the edge, but alive. Hello, Cruel World features a catalog of 101 Alternatives to Suicide that range from the playful (Moisturize), to the irreverent (Disbelieve the Binary), to the highly controversial (Get Laid. Please). Designed to encourage readers to give themselves permission to unleash their hearts' harmless desires, the book has only one directive: "Don't be mean." It is this guiding principle that brings its reader on a self-validating journey, which forges wholly new paths toward a resounding decision to choose life. Tenderly intimate and unapologetically edgy, Kate is the radical role model, the affectionate best friend, and the guiding mentor all in one kind and spirited package. A celebrated pioneer for the LGBTQI community, transsexual author and performance artist, Kate Bornstein is the author of the wildly successful books My Gender Workbook and Gender Outlaw: On Men, Women and The Rest of Us. Name change sought for University of Missouri building because of dean's anti-gay activities
December 05 National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence Against WomenJoin the National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence Against Women candle light memorial walk on Dec. 6 at 5:45 p.m. starting from City Hall. The walk will end at the Longhouse where there will be hot food, singing, drinks, Heidi, and other speakers.
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